In our Marriage Fellowship last Sunday, the topic of discussion was the role of money in marriage. It was noted without any objection that money is a medium of exchange by which we are able to acquire many things, tangible and intangible, which things help to make marriages happy and stable.

It was also noted, again with no objection, that it is not only the lack of money in a marriage that can lead to unhappiness and unstableness, but also its abundance. Therefore, whether in the lack of money or in its abundance, let us do our best to keep our marriages stable. This is not only good for us and our children, but also for the cause of Jesus Christ and Christianity.

It should be noted that oftentimes unhappiness and unstableness in a marriage is not due to either the lack of money or its abundance, but rather the attitude and behavior of the spouse through whom the money (or most of it) comes. Some spouses, because they bring in the money (or most of it), behave improperly towards their “friends”. For example, some spouses who put the food on the table or have a better income develop a “better than thou” mentality or superiority complex towards their better halves. Some even consciously or unconsciously turn their “friends” into their beggars or slaves, only giving them money after a lot of asking or doing something to earn it. Worse still, the giving of that money is often accompanied with humiliating remarks! This should not be so amongst us – we are Christians who even vowed to each other that “in riches and in poverty . . .”

The other reason why spouses who are financially better off than their mates should be nice is that tables can be turned in an instant. The God who sovereignly willed for one spouse to bring in the money might decide, or could have planned that at a later date He will send the finances for the family through the other spouse. Imagine the embarrassment and humiliation that the formerly well-to-do will have to endure! Worse still, when the tables turn, the formerly well-to-do spouse might reap what they sowed.

Therefore, let us be really good to each other as Christian couples, especially when we have the upper hand financially. And let us not let the lack or availability of money ruin our marriages. Saint Paul’s attitude towards lack and abundance should minister to us, lest we destroy our marriages: “. . . I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13).

God bless you.